♪ [rock]
[Announcer] What are these people running from?
They're not, they're running
to the world's toughest competition in town:
Most Extreme Elimination Challenge.
Tonight, it's the oil industry
taking on the makeover industry.
It's the classic battle between
gas pump robbers versus the big nose jobbers.
So get fired up for MXC.
And now, here's two guys who
still have most of their original parts,
Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano.
Ho, we've got a great show today, Ken.
A high octane group of petroleum workers
versus the maestros of the makeover industry.
You know, as a matter of fact,
I was thinking of getting a little work done myself.
Yeah, you should.
You're really old.
Well taken, but you know, Ken,
age actually has nothing to do with it.
It's a matter of self-improvement and self-esteem
and there's no risk under the professional supervision
of surgeons like Dr. Zhivago here.
Wow, Steve's a doctor?
Indeed, he is, Ken.
As a matter of fact--
[burping]
he's one of the tops of his field.
[chuckles]
Yeah, he sure drinks like a doctor.
Well, not exactly what I wanted to hear,
but, uh, let's go to Guy.
[burping]
Ha. Thank you, boys.
As you can see, these concerned citizens
are checking the latest prices of oil.
Of course, Guy spends plenty of money
on oils and lubricants.
More on that later.
First, our operation begins with Roulective Surgery.
Then we pump things up with
Rotating Surfboard of Death.
After that, it's the very benign Dash to Death.
Then we hit black gold with Mud Butlers.
Ow!
Oh. Ow!
As you can see, today's winners
will receive souvenir fudge bats.
[men arguing]
I'm going to move out of the way
as a donnybrook has broken out.
Skipper, Guy needs help.
Send in reinforcements.
[groaning]
How many of you feel that breast enlargements
have little to do with the needs of women
and more to do with the satisfaction of men?
Show of hands, now!
[all cheering]
You're wrong.
[chuckles]
Oh well, maybe you're right.
Uh, you, you're having rhinoplasty, right?
Hm?
Uh, no, I'm getting my teeth capped.
Of course.
Plain as the nose on your face.
Oh, let me guess.
Uh, you, butterball.
Having a tummy tuck?
No.
Oh, sorry. Oh, you're getting hair plugs.
Yeah.
Uh, well, the Captain's overdue.
How about you?
You must be here for a unibrow?
Oh, actually, I have terrible acne.
I wrote a song about it.
Oh, let's hear it. Go ahead.
Okay.
♪ My bacne has a first name ♪
♪ It's p-u-s-e-y ♪
♪ My butt zits have another name ♪
♪ And they're spreading down my thighs ♪
♪ My tongue-- [chuckles]
Isn't that nice?
Well, gentlemen, America's newest idol.
Ah. Let's go!
[cheering]
And we're off to our first event: Roulective Surgery,
where our contestants sift
through powdered anesthesia,
grab a number chip,
and dash to the corresponding spot on the board.
We're ready.
Dr. Danny Glans and his surgical staff will spin
the wheel and perform the unelective surgery.
Let's get ready to play.
Get it on!
[cheering]
And the contestants enter the Tub of Tranquility.
[Ken] Filled with a powdered party mix
of lidocaine, Demerol, and Thorazine.
Uh, good stuff, Ken.
Hopefully, these quick-acting drugs won't take effect
before the lucky number is called.
And that, of course, the lucky number will represent
the unelective surgical surprise package.
And here's "before" makeover model, Emma Butterface.
My pelvis is much too wide.
Oh, God, I need new corneas.
[crying]
Indeed she does, Ken.
Oh, look there, there's Bozo makeover recipient,
Jaundice the Clown.
Hey, Vic, look, one of our contestants is going under.
I think you might be right, Ken,
but more importantly, Dr. Glans has spun the wheel.
Uh-oh, there it goes.
And let's see where it lands,
and it looks like it's number nine.
Number nine is the unelective surgical triple-T package.
Tummy tuck, tush lift, and big breasteses.
So the oil industry picks up the win,
and more importantly, the unelective surgery.
See you in surgery.
They're being rushed to the Neverland Makeover
and Skin Bleaching Clinic.
All right, you unruly contestants, wish 'em luck.
[All] Luck!
And, of course, Ken, the real story here,
Texas Teetotaler Patty Lok-- our MXC Impact Replay.
Yeah, she goes down hard.
Indeed, she does. Let's go down to Guy.
Oh, tell us your experience, huh?
All I know is I smelled burning hair and charred skin.
And the next thing I know, I'm on my back.
Someone could've done anything they wanted to me.
See, right there.
Well, would you like to see Guy on your back?
Uh, no, I think I'd rather swallow a bag of broken glass.
[laughing]
Well, there you have it, the oil team takes the lead 1-0.
And, of course, at the break, my makeover will begin.
You ready, Doc? [burping]
Ah, he's ready.
[Announcer] When MXC returns,
it's Surfboard of Death.
So, sit on it and rotate.
Slagheap.
MXC is back with fake boobers and jiffy lubers.
[chuckles]
Get it?
Hey, here's Vic.
He's out of surgery.
Well, I don't mind saying I'm a little nervous,
but I'm indeed comforted by the support of my friends here,
who are here to share in my great makeover unveiling.
Yeah, yeah. Come on, show us, dude.
Well, okay, here it is.
Huh, what do you guys think?
[all yelling]
Oh, my God, what did they do to you?
Oh, the horror.
You're hideous.
The horror.
A little heavy on the botox, huh?
And now, it's time for Rotating Surfboard of Death.
Catch a wave, dodge a dolphin, or die.
Get it on!
First up for makeover, Dr. Philonoma Mussolini.
Just whack it off!
Specializes in facial mole relocation.
There he goes, he starts off, Ken-- Oh!
He is down, and down quickly.
Oh. Wait a minute.
Let's take another look at that.
Right you are, Ken, let's go to the replay.
Right there, his hand comes off.
Oh ho, that is awesome.
But he can rebuild himself.
He has the technology.
I wonder what he charges for a hand job.
And here's oil pipe rimmer Hedda Gobbler.
I'm not supposed to be here.
[shrieks]
You guys, she starts off-- oh!
She goes down fast.
And she was well lubed.
Ha ha.
Next up, Cliff Mandible.
I'm like it high and tight.
Cliff's a hair-lip groomer from West Covina, California.
Yeah, he did a nosehair comb-over for my nana.
[yelling]
Oh, and he is over the side of the Surfboard of Death.
I suck.
And all I can say here is Wally Penzoli.
He's an oil well siphoner.
Uh, looks like he came back from work.
I think you might be right, Ken.
Let's see how he does here.
Oh, and he is down!
Let's take another look at that.
Oh, man.
Right there a 1040 into an STP
and he cannot pull it off.
Too bad.
What a shame.
And next up, we've got Don Popeil.
Hit it, Buck.
He, of course, the inventor of the Chin-su face peeler.
Yeah, that's a skin scraper that also makes
mouth-watering hash browns and julienne thighs.
But wait, there's more.
Not for Don, he's down!
Let's take another look at that, Ken.
As you can see here, he nips and tucks and rolls
into a spinning au gratin, and he is home fried.
For only 19.95.
Right you are.
Next up, Ryan Mull.
More than a handful's a waste.
Ryan, of course, manufactures the world's
most popular oil byproduct, silicone.
Yeah, he also makes a lubricant for well-endowed women, Double D-40.
Right you are, Ken, and he's over the dolphin
into a sagging yabo, back up on his feet.
Coming up to Chief Auto Parts,
a little greeting there.
He jumps off, oh, into a seated mummy bag.
Straight into a flying areola
and a mammorial landing, Ken.
And he scores one for the oil team.
He looks cold.
Right you are, Ken.
Collate it!
And here's Guy Friday.
He sells the Swingline Stomach Stapler for obese office workers.
Oh!
Why don't they just staple their mouths shut?
Ah, good advice, Ken.
Let's take a look at that on the replay.
You can see right there into a full extended 3-hole punch.
Oh, I think I heard a staple pop.
I think you might be right, Ken.
Next up, pretty Bobbie Sue Lubber.
I'm a gusher.
Bobby, of course, is a newly crowned Miss Offshore Driller.
She looks great in platform shoes.
Indeed she does, Ken.
Oh, she's down.
She looks pretty good wet, too.
Kenny.
Ha ha.
Last up for the makeover team,
16-year-old Buddy Weiser.
I got an A in math.
Buddy, of course, had a makeover
to make himself look older so he could buy beer for his friends.
Yeah, now he just looks like his uncle Larry.
Oh, there's a barleyhop over a dolphin
into a seated St. Pauli girl.
Look at this now, Ken.
Oh, there he is into a Dancing Fire Water.
He's gonna set a Guinness Stout record.
I think you might be right.
An ID fakie.
A Prone Pilsner.
And he Anchor Steams his way into victory, Ken.
Let's take another look at that.
He is our MXC Impact Replay.
Let's take another look, Ken.
Yeah, right here, Vic.
He just crushes his cocktail nuts.
Right you are, Ken.
So young Buddy Weiser,
good at scoring beer and points,
puts Makeovers on the board,
but Oil still leads 2-1.
[Announcer] Coming up on MXC,
drop in, hang on, it's a real thrill ride.
MXC is back with the botoxes versus the pump jockeys.
Hey, here we go.
Here we go.
Hey, Vic, I see you're doing your part to conserve energy.
Indeed, I am Ken. Say hello to Prius,
my trusty hybrid steed.
Hey, Vic, you need to do some squats.
Ah-ha, there we go.
Yes, I'd like a bushel of oats,
a shiny apple, and a carton of Marlboro Reds, please.
Hey, what do you think you're doin' riding a horse?
You should be burning fossil fuels and buying gas.
How do you like the gun to your head, Mr. Gas Price Gouger?
See what I did there, Ken?
Yeah, hey, do I get a gun?
Why not, because it's time to Dash To Death!
Get across the obstacle course of challenges
without getting Dashed To Death.
Shut up!
Here's Hank Coach for Makeover.
He turns the bags under your eyes into fine luggage.
Yeah, if you lose them at the airport, you start to cry.
Right you are, Ken, and there he is, past the grinder.
Into the ejaculator, the contraceptive sponges.
Oh, dodges the angry red dragon.
Arrgh, arrgh, roar.
Ripping through the sponges there.
Sporky giving him what for.
Onto the spinner, and there-- Oh!
Almost into the fluid, Ken.
That's reclaimed blister fluid from the generous people
at Red Adair Burn Unit.
Right you are, and here he is,
coming up on the Nards of Doom-- Oh!
And he cannot make it all the way through, Ken.
That is our MXC Impact Replay.
You can see right there,
he got blue-balled by the center nard.
But it's that left nard that did the real damage.
It always is.
Last call!
Next up, Sam Malone.
He's the relief bartender on the Exxon Valdez.
Yeah, his specialty drink is called
Oil On The Beach, served on the rocks.
Right you are, Ken.
There he is, past the grinder.
Into the ejaculator-- Oh!
And it looks like he has run aground.
Yeah, ha ha.
Let's take another look at that.
I'm okay.
Ha ha, it's all right.
Yeah, right here, Vic.
He gets totally Edmund Fitzgerald.
Right you are, Ken.
You want me to buy you some beer?
Ah, once again, here is Buddy Weiser.
Oh, sprinting right past the Zygote Brothers.
Past the Brain Scrambler, into the Grinder.
Coming up on the ejaculator...
Oh, and he goes into a rolling rock.
Right you are, Ken.
Working through those sponges, past that angry dragon,
look at him go, Ken.
Onto the spinner.
Here's where it gets tricky.
Coming up on the Nards of Doom,
there's that right nard.
The middle and the troublesome left,
Ken, and he's done it!
He's grabbing that ropey strand, Vic.
I think he's gonna go all the way.
Ahhh...
And he does, he scores one for Makeover!
You want me to buy you some beer?
You can buy me some.
Kenny!
Check my website!
Here's Lynn Chambers, the head of Blowtech.
She satisfies the larger members of the oil industry.
She guarantees a big gusher.
Right you are-- Oh!
And she takes it on the head,
Ken, and gushes into the fluid.
What a shame.
Uh-oh!
Wings!
That, of course, Jethro Ray Cyrus,
host of the Hillbilly makeover show Appalachian Ambush.
I love that show. They get rid of your mullet,
cap your blackened teeth.
And they finally make it so you and your wife
no longer look like brother and sister.
Right you are, Ken.
And there he is, dodging that angry dragon.
Into the sponges.
Roar...
Oh, some tough times there with Sporky-- onto the spinner!
Ah, ahhh...
He's going into a double spinner.
Right you are, Ken.
Let's see what he does here.
That could of been a mistake.
Into the sponges.
Up onto the nards of doom, and he gets clipped!
Oh, almost blue-balled into the fluid,
but he manages to hang on, Ken.
Oh, he gets by the left nard, Vic.
Unbelievable.
Onto the ropey strand, let's see if he can pull it off.
Oh!
And he didn't have enough left.
What a shame, Ken.
I think it was that double spinner took it out of him.
I think you might be right.
Light a match!
This, of course, for Oil, Cherry Fishman.
She runs an oil derrick day care center
called Mommy And Methane.
Yeah, if the kids are good,
they get a blue flame lighter with their name on it.
Right you are, Ken.
There she is, manages to get by the Brain Scrambler...
into the Grinder.
Takin' her time.
Gingerly.
Nice moves there, Ken, very, very light on her feet.
Comes into the Ejaculator-- Oh!
A little trouble with the sponges.
A little dribble.
They're a little soggy today.
Coming up on the Angry Dragon.
Let's see how she handles this, Ken.
Uh!
Oh, quite nicely.
A little one-handed shrug there.
She's had some practice.
And here comes Sporky.
Peas and carrots, argh.
Really playing some head games with her, Ken.
Um-ba, Um-ba-walla.
She doesn't know what to do now.
She's coming up on that spinner.
She looks a little disoriented-- Oh!
Oh, and she's down.
[crying]
Is she?
Looks like she can't get loose of that spinner.
Oh, God, Ken, it's like a rodeo
cowboy stuck on a bull.
That is horrifying.
Oh, finally she snaps loose.
Thank God.
Right you are.
Astrology is a mystery!
Here is Omar Sydney.
He does astrological makeovers
for people unhappy with their sign.
By the way, what sign are you, Ken?
Uh, the one that digs chicks and pizza.
I shoulda known that.
I don't know, I think I'm a Caesarean.
Right you are, Ken, and there he is,
working his way into the Contraceptive Sponges.
Oh, makes it past the Angry Dragon.
Roar.
Sporky once again playing a big role in this game today.
Terrorizing him.
Onto the Spinner.
Two rotations.
Into the sponges.
And comin' up on the Nards of Doom, let's see how he plays this one, Ken.
Past the right one.
Right you are.
And the blue.
And the left. Unbelievable, Ken.
Goin' for the ropey strand.
Let's see what he does, he's got a nice tuck goin'.
Oh!
And he comes up short.
After all that.
Well, thanks to his younger but much older-looking teammate Buddy Weiser,
Makeover has scored a lift and ties it up 2-2.
[Announcer] Comin' up on MXC,
you're gonna see some balls get dirty on Mud Butlers.
MXC returns for the final battle
between the natural gases and the man-made asses.
Well, look who's here.
You, sir, Dr. Zhivago, are a charlatan!
I just received your bill.
Ah, ooh, ah-- I got him, Vic.
Hit him.
I'm gonna give him a thrashing, I'm gonna give him such--
What-- Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
You're not just a quack surgeon.
You're an evil oil company executive.
You're right, I just want more money.
Greed!
That bedpan stinks.
It's time for Mud Butlers.
Each player sends a goat bladder down the Maze of Mayhem,
then races down the Steps of Doom and attempts to catch
the Swollen Orb before it flies into the Mystery Fluid.
Make it bigger!
And first up, from Big Box, Wyoming, that's Dr. Pete Tsiotomy.
Pete, of course, is a top gynecologist,
specializing in natural wonders.
Yeah, he did enhancements with Jackson Hole and the Grand Tetons.
Right you are, as he gets in position.
What is today's safety fluid, Ken?
It's reclaimed cellulite from Dr. Dave's Suck 'n' Tuck Lypo Depot.
Right you are, Ken, and there he goes-- Oh!
Oh, good extension, but not enough,
and he's down into the fluid.
What a shame.
Let go! Let oil!
And here is Reverend Oral Swaggart.
He's an evangelical oil minister.
Yeah, he travels all over, preaching to people
to believe in the divine power of the oil companies
or face Shell and damnation.
Right you are, Ken.
Let's see what he does here now.
He's got himself into position.
Good extension-- Oh!
He should pray to Michael, the Arco angel.
Kenny!
Never too young to grow up.
Here, of course, Mike Ramsey.
He does full toddler makeovers.
His latest innovation: hairplugs for bald babies.
Yeah, it turns the soft spots into hard tops.
Right you are, Ken.
He's also the man who brought us
Diapo-suction to get rid of that unsightly baby fat.
Yeah, now you don't have to pretend they're cute.
Right you are, Ken.
There he is, in good position.
This could be a good one.
He's lined up.
No, he can't!
He one-handed that thing.
What a baby.
Think he needs his binky, Ken.
Break a window!
Next up, Richard Longshank.
He's an Alaskan deep driller.
Yeah, he's known for his huge equipment.
Right you are, Ken.
And apparently, he's laid quite a lot of pipe
all through the Yukon Territory.
There he is, moving nicely.
Getting himself in position.
[grunting]
Picked a good spot.
And he's got it, Ken! Unbelievable!
Look at how he used the thumbs
to keep the bladder in the bowl.
And Oil scores.
I used to be a Blue Man.
Here's Jaundice the Clown, formerly of the Blue Man Group.
But apparently he couldn't stand
living in his own skin.
Yeah, he's a self-hating Blue.
Right you are, Ken.
Sadly, it happens all too often.
I'd hate myself, too.
But now he's got a complete new makeover, a new identity...
and a nice looking 'fro of blond hair.
Let's see what he does with it.
Here it comes.
Let's see if it helps or hurts-- Oh!
Oh!
He almost had it, Ken.
And he goes face-first, color him a loser.
Heh, he's a sad clown.
Right you are.
Let's take another look on that MXC Impact Replay.
No matter how many times you look at it...
He just couldn't hang on.
Right you are.
Let's go down to Guy and find out what Jaundice has to say.
I didn't like the blue face I was born with,
so I went orange.
But now that it's brown, ha ha,
I kinda like it.
And Guy like, too.
My parents say I was unplanned!
Here's refinery chef Steven Paul.
He wrote the popular party cookbook,
Fonduing With Fossil Fuels.
Yeah, you can have dinner and lube your car with the leftovers.
Right you are, Ken.
Tasty-sounding stuff.
Let's see what he does here.
That bladder certainly taking its time
working its way down the Maze of Mayhem.
He's ready, though.
There he goes. And, oh!
Good extension, but he comes up short.
He should go home and make himself a failure omelet.
Right you are, Ken.
Snug is good!
Next up, Hugh Balzac,
father of the Nardular Lift,
the makeover procedure that makes men
look younger in the locker room.
Yeah, Grandpa Blankenship had it done.
Now his Speedo no longer hangs around his knees.
Good to know, Ken.
Look at him-- oh, he's swinging wide there.
Hugh, of course, just had some work done.
He still might be a little tender.
And he couldn't make that turn, what a shame.
Let's go down to Guy, find out what went wrong.
I walked through here...
Why did you run so far?
Yeah, I had a little trouble on my last procedure.
I had my guy junk lifted too high.
Oh, you mean high.
Well, these are sacks under my eyes.
I have a sack, too.
Alternative fuel blows!
And last up, Tex Babaganoush.
He has a plan to solve our domestic oil shortage
by making Saudi Arabia our 51st state.
Oh, cool, then you could just drive there.
Well, it all makes sense in your little world, doesn't it, Ken?
Anyways, here comes that bladder.
Tex lining himself up.
Good extension, and he's got it, Ken!
Unbelievable!
Tex Babaganoush puts another one on the board for Oil.
And they hit the motherlode and win it all 4-2.
Well, the Oil Industry really took it to the Makeovers, Ken.
Yeah, yeah, and that doctor, ha ha, he really took it to you.
Yes, he did have his way with me,
and speaking of disfiguring injuries...
It's time for Kenny Blankenship's Most Painful
Eliminations Of The Day!
Starting us off at number 10, it's Guy Le Douche,
who got caught in the middle of a fudge bat fight.
It's all fun and games until someone loses a brown eye.
At number 9, Valdez bartender Sam Malone-- he's shaken,
stirred, and finally poured into the drink.
At number 8 is chef Steven Paul,
who shows us that he likes fondue,
but he's really fond of doo-doo.
At number 7 is ginsu face peeler Don Popeil, who slices,
dices and grates, but he will not clean up easy.
At number 6 is astrologer Omar Sydney.
Here is what I predict for his future: recuperation.
At number 5 is mole relocation artist Philanoma Mussolini,
who relocates himself into our septic sludge.
And divin' into number 4 is Jaundice the Clown,
who goes down hard and gets a case of Hepatitis C-ya!
At number 3, it's Buddy Weiser time,
as this young beer buyer scores a frosty cold one.
And at number 2, it's baby makeover man Mike Ramsey,
who doesn't pull up and has an accident
straight into our toddler toot sauce.
And my most painful elimination
of the day goes to eye bag designer Hank Coach,
who's going to need reconstructive surgery after this run.
Hey, Hank, how about making your crushed nose
into a coin purse?
Well, great eliminations and another great competition, Ken.
Why don't you take us out?
What do we always say?
[All] Don't get eliminated!
Well, I see the doc learned his lesson.
Yeah, we gave him an MXC makeover.
Indeed you did, Ken.
Wow, I think he's found his true inner self.
♪ Just like that bluebird ♪
♪ I'm ready to fly ♪
♪ I've got a whole world ♪
♪ Outside my door ♪
♪ I'm gonna go places ♪
♪ Like never before ♪
♪ I've got a big dream... ♪
Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA